Slip of tongue. Gbaa. Blast. We know all the words to describe it when somebody gets the words wrong. But wait! What if they got the words right, but the right words didn’t really convey the correct meaning? And what if those words made everyone at a party stop and stare at you?
Last week, we witnessed two instances, all within thirty minutes, of such a circumstance, and those lines have made me laugh throughout the week.
Right before we came back from our mid-semester break, my friend Kofi threw pool party. The trouble we’d gone through even just to get a place to hold it was unbelievable. But it came on! And we were alone, thankfully, about thirteen or more of us in total, in a private place, a person’s house, which he had decided turn into a lounge. There was a small pool, AND a connected jacuzzi.
We know how jacuzzis work, don’t we? Bubbles. Wonderful, amazing bubbles. It was no wonder that many of us decided to sit in the jacuzzi at the same time. We were enjoying some nonfa conversation when Kofi happened to break the normal atmosphere by declaring, “Wow, this feels great between my thighs.”
Of all the awkward things to say! This feels great between my thighs?!
Of course, he was talking about the bubbles, and according to him, he meant somewhere between his knees. Not anything we normal teenagers might have been thinking about.
But unfortunately, he didn’t help his situation when said, loudly, a few minutes later, when we were in the actual pool, to another person, “H3rh, don’t wet my meat.”
Perfectly reasonable statement in his condition: He was eating kebabs in the pool and just happened to be splashed. Thus the warning, “Don’t wet my meat.”
Somehow, the correct circumstances made the sentence no less awkward, and had the rest of us laughing for about seven days after the event.
So there we are, the best lines of last week.