Good evening and welcome to Juvenile News. It’s your international journalist/anchor, bringing you the absolute latest from the future (ha-ha, get it?) on Planet Selfie.
Yesterday, a man was caught and imprisoned for wielding and using an ancient and banned device: a phone with a back-facing camera. He has been sentenced to two years in a mirror-less jail with no wi-fi. His wife and family are pleading for his release.
In other news, Instagram has just launched its newest side-app, “Duck-Face” to add to its collection of selfie apps, such as “Pouty-Face” and “Aerial View”. In the second decade of the 2000s, if anyone had told me that nobody would be Instagramming their food anymore, I wouldn’t have believed them.
Lastly, the pop-artist known as Purple has risen to the top of the Not list on Front Cam Magazine’s “Hot or Not” section, for not raising her eyebrows high enough…
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