The Realistic Monologue of an Incompetent Villain

Another of those satirical mockeries of stuff…

The Juvenile Community

You cannot honestly tell me that you’ve never wondered, even once, why villains talk so much when they have their heroes in captivity, completely at their mercy. It doesn’t matter what you watch: Vampire Diaries, Once Upon a Time, Kim Possible, Phineas and Ferb…whatever. I cannot be the only one who has ever gotten so exasperated as to say, “You too, shut up and kill them already!” And this, friends, is the inspiration behind what you are about to read:


Saffron – your basic, everyday, butt-kicking teenage heroine – was late. She was schedule to kick some villain’s butt at 9 am but she sat on her bed, flipping through channels. (After all, all, everything was scheduled in the world of bad guys vs. good guys. It’s the reason everything goes so smoothly. I assure you, there’s no chance involved.)

The strange, interactive…

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