*plays Destiny’s Child’s “Fancy” in the background*
I think you don’t know who you are. It’s not your fault. You’re different. I’m different too, but we’re different kinds of different. I’m not trying to be callous, but I think, despite my own insecurities, I’m doing a better job of handling my different-ness than you are – perhaps, particularly because you want to make it seem like you’re even secure about your insecurities. But besides the show, are you really living in yourself? Or are you having self-criticizing thoughts and pushing them aside because you don’t want to give yourself the opportunity to think about them?
You are not the same person now as you were when I met you. I think you don’t know how to be yourself. Your models are different, but they fool you by appearing similar. Rather than constructing, painstakingly, layers above your foundation, I see you pilfering bits and pieces from the icons you have chosen, and putting them all together on top of your foundation, like a jigsaw puzzle. It’s likely to break down. And all you’ll be left with after that is the same foundation you started with.
It never previously struck me how easy it is to rob a person without actually taking anything from them. I discovered it’s called copying in some circles. I feel wronged. I feel like you’ve stolen from me – from the only thing about me that I can truly say is mine: my personality; my identity. I think you don’t know who you are…but go and find your own.
I think you don’t know what to say, so you make your words extra loud and exaggerate your actions so that everyone will think that you do. How much of your royal indi9gnance came from your own head? I think you forgot to consider that every conversation does not belong to you. Being headstrong is fine – but I wish sometimes that you’d listen, rather than try to dominate.
In spite of all the layers of “other”, I think I can confirm that you exist, and that your existence might be a pretty memorable one, if you allow it to be.
My wish for you is that one day, you will be more of YOU and less of bits and pieces of everyone else. I wish you will know who you are.