The Visible Dynamics

You know why it’s so easy to tell what kind of relationship exists between two people (unless they’re really good actors)? It’s because of the visible dynamics between them. Nearly everyone realises it. Sometimes, they just don’t know that they know.

The explanation for these dynamics begins with the concept of personal space. There’s an area around a person that is responsible for making them feel uncomfortable when another person enters it. When someone else stands outside of this area, then all is relatively fine. This area is called personal space. Some people may, perhaps, act like it doesn’t exist because they lack scientific proof. These doubters are of no relevance to me.

Imagine personal space as a coloured translucent bubble around a person; each person has their distinctive colour. When unfamiliar people are forced to interact in proximity, their personal space bubbles may touch. They may even get so close that the bubbles press against each other forcefully, neither willing to create allowance for another. This is when the two unfamiliar people have consented to interact.

When one is willing but the other isn’t, what occurs is called invasion. When someone’s personal space is invaded, another person enters their bubble without permission, making the bubble owner highly uncomfortable.

But something special and different happens between people who are strongly familiar with each other. When their together, their personal space bubbles do not act in the same ay. Instead, they fuse. For instance, a person with a red bubble, who is fully comfortable with a person with a blue bubble will stand next to them, and around them, a translucent purple bubble will form. There is no invasion. There is no discomfort. There is only ease and familiarity.

My bubble flows into yours, and even when we’re not touching, it is very evident. I suppose that is what makes people so uncomfortable when they look at us doing nothing out of the ordinary. Our perfect ease and flow is unfamiliar to them, and they can see the strength of the dynamics between us, even if they don’t understand it. In fact, it is precisely because they don’t understand it that they are so afraid of it; it’s human nature.

Even in the more visible aspect, it’s there. Our bubbles not only encompass each other’s in proximity, but when distance, they send out searching radars for each other. In look up whenever you enter the room I’m in. Your own body subtly adjusts to my every movement. Unconsciously, our walking occasionally becomes synchronised. Though we are not halves, we know that the two of us can be one. It is no wonder that people say we are versions of each other with slight differences.

I have learnt by now not to get offended by the suspicious glances of disapproval people throw at us. It is just a natural reaction to a connection – a phenomenon – they do not know how to comprehend, because they do not possess it with anyone else. It is not our fault that we have it, and it is not their fault that they don’t.

-Akotowaa

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