Recent developments on the social network, Chirper, have come to this reporting agency’s attention, due to an ongoing campaign, spearheaded by a particular purple drake, a filmmaker who goes by the name of Nati Turner, after the famous renegade drake of the last millennium.

Nati Turner had previously released a film called Violet Ducks, which chronicles the story of his own heartbreak, during his own relationship with a dark-feathered duck. Most notable scenes in this film, in which he starred as himself, include that where he repeatedly yelled out, “You hurt me!” in anguish and resentment to a violet duck, and another where he advised all his comrades to conceal their jewellery and other valuables safely under heavy guard, insinuating that violet ducks were untrustworthy thieves and gold-diggers.

However, everyone who follows him on Chirper, also known as his Chirpers, seem to have forgotten all the dialogue contained in his film, as shown by the widely enthusiastic reaction to Turner’s new hashtag, #VioletDucks, which he claims is a celebration of ducks with particularly dark shades of purple. This is, he says, an attempt to combat the prejudice associated with the tone of feathers, of both drakes and ducks, a shadeism system that works in favour of light, lilac coloured ducks and drakes, as opposed to ducks and drakes whose feathers are a rich, dark, violet.

The hashtag #VioletDucks is part of a larger competition, where ducks who believe they are “violet and visually appealing” as stated on the poster, to submit photos of themselves using this hashtag, and its winner will be gifted a prize of 2000 DVD. Some believe, however, that Turner has less visible, ulterior motives, and that this “prize” is actually a “price” for the winner’s face and supposed appeal, and that much more may be requested from her, or, at the very least, the hashtag and campaign are a method of attracting larger audiences, as is a common practice in the film industry.

These theories seem somewhat plausible, given that some of his alliances, like Maestro, who owns the production company MaestroFilms, which Turner is associated with, and female filmmaker, AyKwea, have been seen to be ardent supporters. Additionally, it seems to be achieving its purpose, as Turner has gained 200+ chirpers in a matter of DAYS, with a number that seems to only be growing each time one refreshes his page.

What confuses most people, however, is how this hashtag, which is meant to celebrate all dark violet ducks, is instead serving the opposite purpose of ranking them, through astoundingly arbitrary means, by their visual appeal. This is rather in contrast to the pre-existent hashtag campaign, #PurpleOut (most popular on blogging network, Stumbler), where purple ducks and drakes, both lilac and dark violet, take over social media to showcase their appeal with no material-price strings attached.

Ignoring this criticism, however, chirpers from all over the country have taken over Chirper with this apparently prejudicial hashtag, allegedly designed to fight prejudice. Violet ducks have been showing prejudice against their fellow violet ducks by comparing and ranking each other’s appeal (notably NOT their shades of purple), and even lashing out with malicious, derogatory chirps at them.

“It entirely defeats the purpose,” said one Chirper. “Unless the purpose was initially to emphasize the fact that, by Turner’s standards, some ducks are more appealing than others.”

Everyone also seems to have cast out from their memory the actual, contradicting contents of the Violet Ducks film, which, as stated before, portrayed Violet Ducks as untrustworthy gold-diggers.


BREAKING NEWS: This just in…Nati Turner has recently released the top finalists for #VioletDucks. War and rage between Chirpers over jealousy, claims of unfairness, and additional prejudice, intensify upon Chirper. Many Drakes have also gotten themselves involved.

Turner’s method of choosing the recipients of the 2000 DVD has been thrown entirely to the audience. Whichever finalist’s photo has the highest number of “adorers” on Chirper and Instapound will be the winner. Through this method, Turner seems to have cleverly absolved himself of any guilt or accusations of prejudice. Any prejudicial accusations must therefore be deflected onto the Chirpers and “adorers” alone.


This is as much information as we have so far on this story.

[Author’s note: I do not cause “banter” just for causing banter’s sake. This is not entirely a joke. It’s a parody borne from suppression and frustration at my TL’s contents. Please and thank you, Akotowaa]


  1. I was hoping you’d at least highlight the role of the well-loved #SaintlyDuck who likes to be seen as a champion in the trendy fight of ducks against drakes.

  2. For a while as I read, my head spun trying to wrap my mind around every that was going on in here. This is the kind of thing I read and wonder if I’m still sane

  3. I’d write some minced musings about this except this piece defies description. It’s perfectly eccentric!

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