Dark Heart & Mind #1

Dark Heart & Mind [Files from between August-December 2015]: Releasing the hatred and depression of the last year, raw and beautiful. Don’t you dare tell me to edit or delete. Stifle me any more than I’ve stifled myself, and I’ll pronounce curses on you with my Ewe side.

What’s wrong with me? I’m tired of that question; as tired as I am of people not caring what is wrong with me.

What is wrong with me is everything that has been wrong with me for at least a year, every time someone has asked what is wrong with me. What can I say that is so new that you’ve never heard of such a problem before? And what are you going to tell me that is going to help my situation? Ultimately, the help, advice, comments everyone gives me, only amount to: “suck it up and deal with it, because I can’t offer you a way out.” And a way out is really the only thing that I want.

There is no point wasting so much time reiterating what is wrong with me, to people who will only tell me the same things. And, as much as sitting here and wallowing in my sorrow is unhealthy, I have no clue how to be healthy.

-I.

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