Dark Heart & Mind #6

Dark Heart & Mind [Files from between August-December 2015]: Releasing the hatred and depression of the last year, raw and beautiful. Don’t you dare tell me to edit or delete. Stifle me any more than I’ve stifled myself, and I’ll pronounce curses on you with my Ewe side.

Do you ever get so bored that it feels like your life force is just withering away unto death? Sometimes my boredom turns into a lethargy so strong that I believe I can feel my heart rate slow down gradually, until, eventually, it will be 0 beats per minute. I feel myself taking far longer to inhale and exhale, as though my body no longer wants nor needs as much air to sustain it as it used to; as if it has no desire to be sustained.

It is not that I have nothing to do, and that is why I am bored; contrarily, I have too much to do, and want to do nothing. This is, in fact, what boredom really is: not having the least desire to do anything, whether or not you have anything to do.


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