The Last Time I Had A Breakdown

The last time I had a breakdown,
I was reckless
and it caused someone anger
nearly as intense as my anxiety.
The time before that, I confided.
and the one before that, I confided
But the one before that,
I was reckless
and it caused someone anger
that calmed my anxiety
and destroyed my reputation simultaneously.
None except I
have learnt new lessons.
At the same time, I cannot tell
how far I shall pass the next test.

 

The last time I had a breakdown,
I was reckless.
This time, I have locked myself
in the bathroom,
with the music through my headphones so loud
I could not possibly hear my name being called.
Here, I decide to take a leak;
I strip my eyes naked
of their spectacles and allow sorrow to flow.
I like being here because
this is where the shit comes out so
it works in more ways than one.
The water works
on my skeletons, now as I hide
in my water-closet
Because my faith got lost again
and so I can only ever have
tough skin in public.

 

The next time I have a breakdown,
you will see me smile;
This would take us back to square one.
This will take me back to recklessness.
Smiling will just be another mistake,
Just like writing this poem on the toilet
is another self-contained mistake;
But it is better for you because
these are the kinds of mistakes you can handle.
-Akotowaa
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5 thoughts on “The Last Time I Had A Breakdown

  1. This is just nice, the ability to express yourself through words and especially if the words understand you!! thumbs up Ivana!

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