The Mad Diaries II: Soil

This post is part of a 9-part guest blog series whose author wants to be known as J.J. Moore. I hope you enjoy it. :)

Taking is the only culture some people know, so all their life it is how they live. They take and take and take and take some more, and when there is no more taking to be done they become truly miserable. The worst kind of taker is the one that thinks they are not responsible for hollowing out your soul and sucking its marrow dry. It is easy for them to play the part of a very convincing victim, all the while holding the dagger that continues to tear a hole through you. Some people don’t know how to love you back.

This is how to love somebody back: match their effort.

There are times that we feel the need to curse. But without a clear target we curse the wind. Wind does not know what it is to bear responsibility so wind flees. Wind is always running. You want to be wind and run without a care but you are not wind. So you curse the soil, for giving roots to your feet when you planted your first steps. You curse your beginnings because you think that maybe with a different start your life could have become better. But soil only holds you out of loyalty. It holds you down like family because you are. You are soil and all the hard heat within it. You are soil and all the soft waters within it. So after you have failed at love or pretended to have won in it, it is into the arms of your most loyal soil you return.

When love is too hard to bite, you thirst for that return to dust. It is a subtle and easy-to-brush-aside thirst, at first. But it has a life force of its own. It can pull you so strongly that you are torn between either choosing madness or succumbing to the thirst. Many will be trapped in this torturous dilemma. All the suffering is hewn from the parent rock of love – whether the love of things and property or the love of glory. Mostly though it is the love of love that destroys us all.

People do not really want love. They like the idea of it but they don’t truly want love. Everybody wants a fairytale love story until it’s time to put in the work. It’s a sad thing, that we should be such driven chasers of illusion.

-J. J. Moore

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