A Character Sketch I Have No Right to Make

I have a classmate who troubles me. It’s not that he’s annoying, at least particularly to me. He’s a very nice person, a good friend, morally upright, respects his elders, follows the rules, and blows classes like nobody’s business. In fact, he’s on the list of people I need to kill, which is actually quite a privilege, because I usually only want to kill sharp-brained, super talented, super fantastic people, to make room for the rest of us mediocre ones to finally ascend to excellence. I don’t really have a problem with the person he is. What distresses me, however, is how empty he feels – not to himself, but to me.

You can probably tell that I’m drawing ideas from Puppets or I’m reiterating ideas I expressed in the story. How is one so perfect, so widely acclaimed, and yet, so empty personality-wise? He doesn’t see himself the way I see him, though. He thinks he’s fine. And he probably is; it’s just that I don’t see enough individuality. While I admit that it’s not my place to worry about how other people live their lives, I can’t seem to help being vaguely upset. (Now that I’ve admitted that everything I’m writing now is irrational and irrelevant, there is really no need for you to comment/message me about it. Please and thank you.) I don’t know what he does (if ever he does anything) when he’s not doing stuff that he’s “supposed” to be doing. He’s always on top of his deadlines, and I wonder if all of his favourite pastimes are academic. Passively, he probably watches series and listens to music, but more often than not, he seems to agree with what other people say about them, hype the parts that other people are hyping, and engage in jokes that everyone else seems to think are funny. It’s not that these are bad things. I just think they make him even more of a cookie-cutter, everyone-likes-this-guy-because-he’s-perfect kind of person.

He’s not a one-sided character, solely concerned with academics. He engages in a lot of extra-curricular activities as well. But in all that he does, I feel like I’m not seeing passion; the kind of passion that leads you to love; the kind of passion you’d break rules for; the kind of passion that will give you an identifiable personality. Currently, I can only describe him with generic words, like “smart” and “nice.” But never have I ever seen a fire (not of anger, but of passion) ignite in him. And see, to support my argument, I can’t ever imagine someone disapproving of any of his behaviour. Except me. I could divert this whole thought process into a discussion about why I’m so upset about someone following rules. But I won’t, mostly because I don’t know the answer.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about living purposefully. And I think too many people are losing the power to discern between doing something because you love it and just…doing it. I don’t know how to live like that. I’m one of those emotive creatures who can’t live like responsible robots, because I’d be in emotional misery.


The Kind of Friends I Really Want to Have

It’s rather unfortunate, but I feel like I’m in the wrong class. This is not meant to be offensive to my classmates (who don’t read my blog anyway, so it doesn’t even matter). I mean, the latter part of 2012 and the first half of 2013 still remain the best year of my life, and that was when I moved to SOS-HGIC and I met them.

But by our second year, we’d already started to break apart for various reasons. Sigh. For these reasons, the latter part of 2013 will probably be one of the darkest periods of my teenage life. I even had to write things like Once Upon a Friend and Too Schooled For Coherence because of that period. But, despite many bonds breaking in 2-13, new, very cool ones formed.

The new students, the IG1s in the class below mine, arrived in 2013. In that class were the coolest kids I’d ever met till now, and probably for a long time to come. I’m going to name. What’s there to censor? Simeon Mark Cofie, Kwame Kwakwa, Carlton Segbefia, Yaw Boaitey, Deborah Korboe. Those aren’t all, but they’re the ones closest to me.

Meeting these people was an amazing experience that added so much value to my life. I’d never met people who were so INTO ideas, creativity and creation. I’m talking about amateur programmers, graphic designers, fine artists, comic book artists, story creators, voice acting interests, poets, photography, movie-making and OMG, they are so amazing. What I love most about them is their eccentricity, imaginativeness and plain love of creation.

This is what the people in my class, the people closest to me, don’t really have: the zeal to MAKE things and create COLLECTIVELY. The thing is, they fit so well with each other and it looks like each of my classmates has a place of comfort amongst themselves, as they are. And this is probably why I feel so spectacularly out of place.

I’m a creative. But I need people to be creative with. I want the kind of friends who come up with random, crazy ideas for the heck of it and agree “Hey! Let’s do it!” And when each person is compliant, willing and most of all, interested, they contribute with their own creative ability to the entire project, and you actually produce…stuff.

I want to produce stuff and be surrounded by people who also like to produce stuff and live by love and the love of creation and value each other’s talents and skills and help each other acquire more talents and skills and just…be happy. I want a family of friends, with bonds so strong they feel like blood. But, well, you can choose your friends, but you can’t make them…or can you?

For now, I’m making a vague attempt at trying. The world that I’m creating in Fourteen is a light representation of what I want. But I want to be able to hope for the future, that I may be reunited with these awesome people, or meet people equally awesome.

Also, shout-outs to Michael Kitcher and Anthony Addo for being awesome.