How Do You Want to Be Loved?

On Friday, the 21st of December 2018, I had one of the most violent nights I had experienced in what felt like several months. No, no armed robbers attacked my household. Neither did I get beaten or stabbed or even get into a verbal fight with anyone. All the violence occurred within my own mind;…

On Hurting People into Loving You

After several years of tragic patterns, I have come into a deeper understanding of the fact that being made to feel unimportant/undesired by the people who mean the most to me is one of the deepest-cutting kinds of hurt that I can feel. (I do not appreciate that I’ve had to learn this the hard…

An Ephemeron Story (and I’m the bad guy, BTW)

I’ve had periods in my life where the ugly in me has really shown. This was one of my ugliest. This story in particular has been sitting on my heart for a while, and I do this thing where I talk transparently to random people on the internet through blog posts. SMH. Cognitive dissonance: the…

The Progression of Friendship

In the pits of your own sadness, a friend will become necessary. In that moment, whoever is most available will turn into the person who is most appropriate. This person will become the immediate recipient of your textual and vocal complaints, the one to whom you lament at the occurrence of every bit of misfortune.…

When Your Male Best Friend Becomes Someone Else’s Boyfriend

Author's note: I experienced an overwhelming desire to go and look for this thing that I wrote in my journal at the beginning of 2015 (I can't believe that was two years ago!), due to sentiments I experienced today that reminded me of the sentiments I had while I wrote it. In fact, the subject…

Disconnecting…

I remember phone calls I was too bothered to pick up because five minutes would turn fifteen would turn two hours and I thought drag lacked purpose Now I crave it. I let the phone ring like I wasn’t there, surprised when you continued to call like you believed through Faith I was never out…

To All The Suckaz Who Forgot How To Be A Friend To Me

Nah But forreal You kinda suck tho'. -Akotowaa