Ironically, this blog post is more like a newsletter than just about any of my actual newsletter posts thus far. Here’s what’s been going on in the SpiderKidverse lately.
In the moments when the self-doubt and anxiety subside enough for me to hear the affirmation I am surrounded with, I am beyond grateful.
I entered 2023 with a different kind of vim, after a meltdown I had in late 2022. Back around December of last year, I fell into an intense period of self-loathing when I realized that I had allowed the circumstances of my life and the undisciplined processes of my brain to hold me back so thoroughly that I missed deadlines for what I hoped would be an important step in my life and literary career. I was so angry at myself that I vowed not to allow those factors to hold me back in 2023 as well.
I decided my motto for the year would be the cliché but mostly true statement: “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” January came around, and there were four opportunities I wanted to pursue whose deadlines fell between January and February. I decided to go for all of them. I drew up an elaborate schedule breakdown of everything required for my applications. I fell far behind many of the pre-deadline deadlines I set for myself, but I shot my shot and scored (or almost scored) 3 out of 4.
I am so grateful that:
This year, I get to attend the Milford SF conference in Wales as one of two bursary recipients.
On various digital avenues, I follow a Nigerian author called Suyi Davies Okungbowa whose African fantasy book, Son of the Storm, I think is a 5/5 novel. He plugged the Milford SF Conference a couple of times in his newsletter, After Five (it’s a great and insightful resource. You should subscribe!). A few years ago, he himself was a bursary recipient, and he credits that opportunity as one of the key things that kickstarted his current career trajectory. When I told him I had gotten it this year, he was kind enough to give me a shout-out in a subsequent issue of his newsletter.
Oh, and by the way, while this bursary covers my lodging and meals for the conference, I still have to pay for my Accra-UK flight out of pocket. My finances have been looking very precarious since transitioning exclusively to freelance work in order to conserve time and energy for writing, so if you are interested in donating to my travel fund, please see me in chambers. I am not joking, please.
🕸️
I got accepted into my dream workshop, Clarion West!!
Proudly, I am a member of the 2023 cohort of Clarion West’s annual six-week workshop for speculative fiction writers! This year was, I think, my third attempt to get into the workshop, and I was becoming so accustomed to the rejections that when the acceptance email came, I could not believe my eyes.
As intensive as the workshop is known to be, I am still incredibly excited to be instructed by some amazing writers, particularly the incomparable NK Jemisin. The bittersweet part of this one is that usually, the 6-week workshop takes place physically, in Seattle, USA. This year’s workshop, however, is virtual. On the bright side, no travel expenses, yay! On the dark side, screen fatigue, potential time zone challenges, and the lack of opportunity to share physical space and energy with my talented classmates. Regardless, I need these six weeks desperately to help me get over the inertia which, for several years now, has gotten in the way of me actually translating my short story ideas into finished stories. May the pressure of the workshop yield diamonds IJN. Let the church say amen!
🕸️
I was a runner-up in the inaugural Adinkra Poetry Prize.
In January, I attended a poetry workshop at LOATAD, taught by Dr. Afia Ansong (who has published poetry collections under the name Afua Ansong). The workshop was centered on creating poetry inspired by Adinkra symbols. There, I came to know there was an associated poetry competition. Bear in mind, I have very little confidence in my written poetry skills. My poetic talents lie primarily in the performance poetry sector. But I shot my shot and sent in three written poems.
Interestingly enough, the only poem of mine which got shortlisted was my shortest one. But that also happened to be the only poem I wrote based on the Adinkra symbol I have very personally embraced. I literally have a tattoo of it, and the symbol is splayed all over my blog and social media profiles: Ananse Ntentan. The spider’s web. I mean, I am the Spider Kid—wo expecti samtin differen’ anaa?
You can read the 3-line poem on LOATAD’s website. You can also read it in the Instagram post linked below.
While my poem was not, in fact, a winner, it was one of the three runner-ups, which is further than I expected it to even get, so I celebrate it.
I won’t talk about the fourth opportunity that rejected me, because lowkey, although the money associated with it would have been very good, it was a bit too Caucasian-oriented and had undertones of a Western imperialist agenda. Even before I sent the application out, I had anxieties about maybe having to compromise on the cultural integrity of my work, in the event that I actually won it.
Each one of these wins (or almost-win) gave me a hefty dose of affirmation in a season of doubting myself in various capacities, and wondering whether the struggles and sacrifices I am going through for the sake of an artistic career that often appears stagnant, are even worth it. The fact that decision-makers from organizations I deeply respect within my chosen creative field would read my application, or my poem, or an excerpt from my novel-in-progress and declare that I merit the spot I asked for, is so encouraging for me.
That said, if you’re reading this and you’re holding yourself back from shooting shots you’ve been considering, please start taking your chances right now. Believe in yourself enough to give others the opportunity to agree with you. And, especially if you’re eyeing opportunities that will help you hone your skills (like workshops), channel your self-doubt and your current dissatisfaction with yourself into determination to become much better than you are now—by applying to those very opportunities. You may miss some shots entirely, or take several tries to land one, but don’t let that stop you from starting, or from trying again. Like those viral Tumblr quotes of yesterdecades loved to remind us: You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
Big love,
Akotz the Spider Kid 🕸️
Akotowaa's Blog 
Leave a comment