Why will.i.am is Awesome and Your Argument is Invalid

Will.i.am is a musician. Have we got that? Good. I did not say he was a singer. I said musician. He’s a performing artist. Got that too? Great.

For the last time, allow me to say it: will.i.am makes music.

It simply cannot be right to call will.i.am useless because he uses auto tune. Did he say he was singing R’n’B? No. He’s rapping and singing but he is not a singer. Yet this is how he makes his music.

I love will.i.am’s music because:
a) His songs are nice to dance to.
b) His lyrics are hilarious.
c) It’s refreshing to listen to auto tuned music when someone is DOING IT RIGHT.

Seriously. Very few people I know can use auto tune as well as he does. As for this one, it’s not a case of having vocal talent or not; his auto tune is required for his kind if music, which, I admit, might suck without it. But isn’t that the whole point? How can you say he has no talent just because his method of music-making is more obviously technological than others?

Me attempting a colour pencil portrait of will.i.am
Me attempting a colour pencil portrait of will.i.am

Let me illustrate the argument against will.i.am for you clearly.

  • If you smudge your pencil when you draw, you have no talent because you can’t create real value on your own.
  • If you use GarageBand, you have no talent because you are not playing an actual instrument.
  • If you buy a shirt, you have no talent because you can’t sew one of your own.
  • If you sing a cover of somebody’s song (even in your shower), you have no talent, because you haven’t come up with lyrics of your own.
  • If you type a document and email it, you are incompetent because you haven’t written an actual letter with ink and managed to send it to the post office. Clearly, you don’t even know how to spell—probably relied on autocorrect, that’s why.
  • If you use a calculator to do trigonometry, you are stupid because you don’t have the exact value for the sine of every angle between 0 and 360 degrees in your head.

Need I go on?

Maybe people are hating because he doesn’t feel the need to swear every two seconds the way some typical hip-hoppers do. Or they are hating because he doesn’t have music videos featuring shameless half-naked girls grinding up on him all through it (*cough* Robin Thicke *cough*). Or maybe because his lyrics can be silly for the sake of it—people these days seem to prefer blasphemy, vulgarity and crudeness.

Nevertheless, I like will.i.am’s music and may I just say my current favourite non-Christian Contemporary album is #willpower. (It even has a hash tag!!!)

Anyway. Whatever. To each his own and all that.

By the way, your hair cannot get awesome pass will’s.

An attempt at a copy of the #willpower album cover
An attempt at a copy of the #willpower album cover
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